Mommy Confessions

This is my first Mommy Confession since starting my BLOG so it is going to be long (sorry!).

I confess that some times I just want to scream "Calgon Take Me Away!".

I am a first time mom (still trying to figure out how to balance being mom, wife and myself) to a beautiful 6 month old little girl that takes every minute of my day when I am not at work and still does not sleep through the night.

This sounds terrible but sometimes I consider myself a single parent with a husband.

My morning consists of getting up at 5:00 so that I can shower, make breakfast and lunch for my husband and I, get dressed for work, get the baby up and dressed for the day and feed the dogs (and sometimes change my outfit a second or third time because baby spit up on me) all so that I can leave at 6:45 for work at 7:30. In the mean time my husband gets up around 6:00 showers and dresses for work and then asks me if I have taken out the garbage or some other task (excuse me, what have you done so far?). I get off work at 4:00, drive home, pick baby up from day care at 5:00, go home and nurse her, make dinner for us, clean up and attempt to feed her solid food for the evening. I say attempt because I usually end up wearing most of it and she screams bloody murder and cries those huge heart breaking crocodile tears after the 3rd or 4th bite. I am not sure what I am doing wrong here but this does not seem right. All while, my husband is sitting on the couch making suggestions on how I should do it, asking if I warmed the food to the right temperature and telling me I should get something to cover the floor so that the food does not stain the carpet. Then it is play time. I have to play with her every minute because she is in that stage where if I get more than 2 feet away, she screams. About 8:00 we start our bedtime routine and go into her room with our bottle and rock in the glider and I sing to her. I usually get her to be around 8:30 (on a good day), leaving me 1 hour of me time (that is usually spent doing the chorse I did not get done earlier) before I pump for the night and go to bed at 10:00.

She was sleeping well, not sleeping through the night, only getting up once around 3:00 for a feeding and then going right back to sleep. She has been sleeping in her own room since about 6 weeks old and before that was in the pack-n-play in the living room. She never slept in our room. The good sleeping pattern all changed this week. It is hot so maybe that is a factor but these past 2 nights she does not want to sleep alone. Last night she went to bed about 8:30 and woke up around 10:30, just as I was getting to bed. She fed and I tried to put her back in bed. She was having none of that and screamed until I picked her up and rocked her for a bit, attempt 2 at bed. Still a no go! I have a spare bed in her room so I tried laying there with her next to me, nope still not happening. Then we tried tummy time (where she lays on her tummy on my chest). This worked and she settled down. After an hour, I put her in her crib. Nope, she wanted mommy so back to tummy time we went. I can lightly sleep during tummy time but wake up with every movement for fear that she is going to roll off or something. Needless to say I am not getting the sleep I need. About 2:00 she is sound asleep enough for me to slip her into her bed and slink off to my bed (where hubby is happily snoring away!) . At 3:00 she is up for food and does not want to be alone again so back to tummy time we go, before I know it, I hear my alarm go off in the bedroom. How can it be 5:00 already, I did not get any sleep.

What did hubby suggest? Getting an alarm for her room for the nights I have to sleep in there so that I can turn mine off since he is still sleeping! Seriously!

YAWN!!!!!! Wow, that felt really good! I guess it is more of a vent than a confession.