Friday, April 29, 2011

The Good The Bad and The Ugly When Returning to Work


The Good The Bad and The Ugly When Returning to Work

(Sorry this is a long one!)

As many of you know, I was laid off from my job in July 2010.  A job that I held for ten years. 

With the economy the way it is, summer turned to winter and winter turned to spring without much luck on the job front.  Not for lack of trying, I put out applications and resumes left and right.


Almost nine months after my last day with my prior employer, I applied for a position with a great company extremely close to my house (BONUS!) and while they had already begun the final selection phase for that spot, they had another slot opening up in the HR department so I went for it.

I interviewed on a Thursday morning, had a second interview Friday afternoon where I was offered the position.  The boss wanted me to start the following Monday but I had to make daycare arrangements and the company required that I pass a background check prior to starting so I started Wednesday. 

Over the weekend I visited the daycare center that she would be starting at (this is her first center experience, until now she was in home care or home with me).  She loved it, she clicked right away with the other kids and I had to practically drag her away from playing after our visit. I thought that interaction with more children would be beneficial for her so I set it up that three days a week (M,W,F) she would go to the center and Tuesday/Thursday she would go to her friend's house.

For the first few days (Wednesday-Friday) I decided she should go to her BFF's house (they used to watch her full time when I worked before).  I thought it would help with the transition from being home with mommy all day to being at daycare all day. 

Monday was her first full day at the center.  I dropped her off, she was happy as can be and barley acknowledged me when I said good bye.  When I went to pick her up she couldn't stop talking about how great the day was. 

The next day she went to her friend's house, all was normal.

Wednesday when we left the house, all seemed fine.  We talked about playing at school and everything seemed great.  That was until I tried to put her down so I could leave.  She clung desperately to my neck crying for me not to leave.  Begging me to take her with me. By the time I left we were both in tears.  I called to check on her at lunch and was told that she only cried for a little bit after I left and was fine and happy the rest of the day.  She was ecstatic to see my husband and myself and told us about her day on the way home.

Whew!  That transition not so bad.  Smooth Sailing from her out, Right?

Thursday she went to her friend's with very little fuss.  Only one, "Mommy stay" before running off and playing.

We talked about going to school all Thursday evening and she seemed happy and talked about her new friend so I thought we were past the trouble and I was thrilled that I only had one day of bad transition.

I COULD NOT HAVE BEEN MORE WRONG!



I felt terrible, was emotionally exhausted and wanted to break down in tears but I knew that I could not let her win this one.  I wanted nothing more than to scoop her up, take her home and tell my new employer that I just couldn't do it but I knew that this job was the best thing for my family and hoped that eventually she would adjust and love it there as much as she did the first day.

I guess we will see how Monday goes.  Maybe today was the worst of it.  If not, I might have to make my husband take her, I am not sure how much longer I can stay strong and leave her there crying.

So what is the Good the Bay and the Ugly when returning to work?

The Good = Getting a job and contributing financially to the family again
The Bad = Not getting to spend all day with my wonderful daughter
The Ugly = Horrible separation tantrums every day when I take her to day care.  I hope this gets better, it is tearing me up and I am not sure how much more I can take it before the guilt eats me up and I quit working!

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