Monday, August 31, 2009

How Do You Balance Being a Mom, a Wife and an Individual?

There never seems to be enough hours in the day to be everyone that I need to be.  How does one person find the time to be a great mom, attentive wife, capable employee and still have time to be herself?

My day starts at 5:00 A.M. (when Wiggle Bean does not get us up early).  I get up and shower for work.  Then I start the wife duties, I make fruit smoothies for breakfast for my husband and myself and pack our lunches.  Back to mom tasks of washing the baby bottles used the day before and packing her milk for daycare.  By this time my husband is up and in the shower, I might get a few minutes to pick out my clothes before Wiggle Bean is awake.  Usually, I bring her in our room while I am getting dressed, doing my hair and putting on my makeup.  Then I feed her, get her dressed and feed the dogs.  We run out of the house around 6:45 (if we are on time!) and get her to daycare.

My husband and I car pool to work.  I drop him off about 7:10 and continue on another 20 minutes to my office.  I work from 7:30 to 4:00with 30 minutes for lunch.  I spend my break periods and lunch period pumping milk for the next day's daycare supply.  After work, I drive to my husband's office and we travel together to pick up Wiggle Bean from daycare.

Once home, I feed the dogs and sort through the mail.  After that, I nurse her.  About 5:45, I start preparing dinner.  After we eat, if I can get her to wait that long,  it is her dinner time.  It usually takes about 30 minutes to get her to eat a decent amount of solid foods.

After her dinner time, we have either play time or bath time.  About 7:45 I get her bed time bottle ready for her.  We go to her room where I read her a story, feed her the bottle and tuck her into bed about 8:30.

She has never really liked to be on her own, so from the time I get home to the time she goes to bed, I am either holding her or playing with her.  When cooking, I move her activity center to the entrance to the kitchen so that she can still see me.

After getting her to bed, I clean up dinner and have about 45 minutes where I try to get on my computer to check email and try to catch up posts from the blogs I follow.  About 9:30, I pump one last time for the night and head to bed around 10:00.  I am usually so tired that I drag myself to bed.  This past Friday, I fell asleep on the couch at 8:30!  Look out, I am a party animal!

Weekends are not much better, there are always chores to be done but I can not go outside and help with them because someone has to be inside to keep an eye on Wiggle (unless she is napping).  It is go go go until the end of the day when I just crash.

My husband and I have not had "date night" since Wiggle Bean was born.  I take that back, we did get to go out to dinner, just the two of us for our 10 year anniversary but we were only gone an hour.

As experienced moms, how do you find time or balance between being mommy, wife, employee and yourself?


Linda Benson said...

I know. Mommyhoodness (by the way, is that a word? ;) ) can be draining. Hang in there. Being the mom of three under 10 I can tell you that it starts getting easier when everyone is over 4. Why 4? I don't know. Everything seems to start falling into place. Just know that you are not alone. Surround yourself with support. And talk, talk, talk it out. Enjoy your precious Wiggle -- so cute! Stopping by from SITS . . .

Date Girl said...

OH wow, you poor thing. When I think of starting a family I think of the same things-how on earth am I going to have time for it all? You're doing a great job. Getting up and making smoothies? That's awesome! It sounds like it's all still pretty new though, and I'm sure eventually you will find time to have your date nights, and maybe time for you to just relax and put your feet up. Love the nickname Wiggle too! :-)
Thanks for stopping by my site fellow Sitsta!

Theta Mom said...

There never is enough time in the day, I can so relate. I hear that they get easier as they get older. My son will be four later this month and he is so much easier to handle than my baby girl!

Just found your blog from SITS and I am following. :)

Nikki said...

wow it sounds like you guys need a vacation!! I don't have any children yet but we're thinking about it and talking about it, and just the thought of so much work with work I currently do makes me sigh. I don't know how you guys do it!

Miranda said...

I'm exhausted and out of breath just reading that! It's hard to find time for all the titles we have. I found myself on the treadmill, reading my Bible at 11:00pm last night. How crazy is that?
For me, I blog and that is an outlet that allows me to find some identity of my own, even if it is about my kids mostly. Make time doing something for yourself, even if it's once a week. Something you can look forward to and break up the daily grind.

Silvia said...

I understand how you feel. After you have your first baby your life is not yours anymore. It's a lot of fun and very rewarding but also very tiring, and we all moms know about this. I have two kids and I don't work and I'm tired ALL the time, I really admire all working mommies out there!

It will get better, my oldest is 5 and he is more independent, and don't feel bad about the date with your husband, my husband and I haven't had a whole day just for the two of us in 5 years!!

I found you through MBC


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